Avoiding unwanted gifts

So, you’ve fallen in love with wooden open-ended toys and have started a beautiful collection.  You love the concept of a minimalist life and have culled the unused items in your kids room, donated the noisy cheap plastic, things are looking good.  And then you remember… Christmas is coming.

My mother-in-law loves to spoil our girls.  They are greeted with a mountain of gifts on Christmas morning, and frankly, it’s overwhelming for them.  They start tearing through wrapping paper, barely saying thanks before ripping into the next item. I’m left surrounded by a mound of plastic crap, most of it noisy or requiring the purchase of about $1.2 million dollar bucks in batteries, all of it rather ugly and none of which I have space for at home.

I know I’m not alone.

It can be a tricky subject to tackle, I’ve seen people berated on Facebook for being ungrateful when asking how to approach family and friends about this.  So, let me lead with: there is no RIGHT way to do this.  It will really depend on the openness of your dialogue with your family and friends, and whether you are the kind of personality who gives zero (you know what’s) about rocking the boat, or if you’d rather go with the flow. But here are my Top 6 favourite ways to ensure you don’t end up with a pile of plastic presents you hate. (And now I sound like a Buzzfeed article)

Shout it from the rooftops

Bold, sassy, sure to win you a few enemies, but probably the most successful method of them all.  Update your Facebook status, include it on your lunch invitations, take out an ad in the local paper.  Nothing is really quite as effective as simply letting people know.  It doesn’t have to be confrontational.  A simple “we have decided to take a sustainable and minimal approach to Joey's toy collection, if you’d like to buy him a toy, please respect our choice and ensure that no plastic or battery operated toys are gifted”.

It is super helpful to have a list of suitable gift suggestions at the ready.  Many stores offer gift registries, you can also create your own online through sites like www.wishlist.com.  It’s always a good idea to offer a good range of prices and also gift card options. 

Really though, few of us are quite so bold.  Which brings me to:

Ask for monaaay!

Now, some may argue that this is the boldest approach of them all.  But I think it’s a great idea and I’ve been to plenty of “fiver” birthday parties, where frankly, I relished in not having to rush out and buy something I wasn’t sure would really be loved before a party.  This is probably a more suitable approach for birthday parties – and can easily be handled with a short line on the invite “Gifts are not necessary,  we don't need more things but Pippy has been saving up for an X. If you insist on a gift, we would love it if you could contribute a five dollar note to help Pippy reach her goal.”

This also works well for families for Christmas – pick a big ticket item, Trampoline, cubby house, mud kitchen, bunk bed, a whole new Bauspiel block set from your favourite online store Sawdust & Chalk (subtle)… and simply ask family to buy gift cards from your chosen store.

Experiences over things

This one I find is a good choice that is usually very well received.  I also find it really easy to bring up naturally in conversation.  “Evie has so many toys, and we really find we aren’t getting out of the house as much as we would like, I’d love the excuse to take her to some new places”

Some great examples include:

• movie tickets
• museum passes
• season ticket to the local pool
• theme park passes
• local craft sessions
• music lessons
• a nights accommodation at a local Big 4 caravan park
• trampoline park pass
• rock-climbing session
• nature walk tours
• local indigenous exploration treks
• guided bike tours
• whale watching
• cooking class
• pottery painting

One of the best gifts we have ever received was a voucher to the GC theme parks, which we used to stay overnight in glamping tent cabins at Paradise Country.  It includes the behind the scenes experience of feeding the animals and tucking them away at night and we really had such a great night. And it was just 5 minutes from where we lived at the time.

Experiences are a great way to support your local community and small businesses whilst also getting out and about and learning more about the area you live in. 

Books books and more books

I don’t know many people who have anything negative to say about buying kids books.  Again, it helps to have a list of titles you don't have so there isn’t any doubling up.  A sweet idea, (and one that I personally used for Grace’s baby shower), is to ask people to buy their favourite book from their own childhood.  It’s a lovely way to discover some great books and open up conversations with relatives, I always make sure to get them to leave a note inside the front cover so we can always remember who it’s from.

Say nothing and donate/hide/return those bad boys

Not necessarily the best approach if you’re looking to reduce plastic waste and landfill. BUT sometimes this is the best solution if you want to avoid conflict. 

Did you know that retailers like Kmart will accept a return on any item that they sell as long as it is un-opened even WITHOUT a receipt?  Head straight to the service counter and explain it’s an unwanted gift and they’ll exchange your clanky noisy ugly plastic item for store credit.  You can then at least buy clothes, print photos, grab some puzzles or pick up some craft items plus Kmart actually have a really great range of kids books.

Embrace it

Yes I know, it’s hard to do. But sometimes.. sometimes the toys aren’t so bad and can become household favourites.  You may find your kids get a lot of joy out of those ugly toys you can’t stand, and if it’s short lived, then you can switch it out and donate it once the novelty has worn off.

At the end of the day, I try to focus on setting a good example for my kids, and sometimes this means saying “thank you” and finding a positive, yes even in the noisy battery items.

This is also the part where I confess that my own sister bought my daughter a plastic fart gun for her birthday. 

It’s every bit as horrendous as it sounds and makes very abnormally loud and extended fart noises through a speaker at one end.  It’s obnoxious and noisy, and frankly.... we have had a LOT of laughs with that rotten gun, and at the end of the day, isn't joy what it's all about?